I understand now, why they call it being ‘re-born’.
Looking back, the stages that I passed since taking the leap into change almost 5 years ago, seem very like an accelerated second childhood. Re-connecting with my abilities at a basic level, re-examining how I thought and spoke to others, being confronted with the baggage of my early life, revising my foundations.
Jettisoning dead weight. So much dead weight.
Come: let’s go out and play!
Embracing a new self-image.
No longer asking permission. No longer keeping my head down and being silent. Standing up beyond adolescence, at long last. Speaking up for the things that matter.
Refusing to give attention, to things that really don’t, except to those who are small.
Like an adult should.
It was really a second go at ‘adulting’, except that this time I could do it with more deliberateness. The universe was guiding my path this time, and I gradually grew to read and trust its flow. He knows how to manifest a human, after all – far more than all the humans on earth combined.
Then in 2017, the path led me through a phase I did not expect, because in the Malaysia I grew up in, avenues of publicly accepted joy, creativity and exuberance have been all but eradicated. So this part of youth is a phase I had somewhat skipped, like many others who did not choose to express it in pathological ways.
Not important, anyway.
But in 2017, the universe insisted for me to create, explore, express – play.
So I knew then for certain, that joy and expression is an inseparable part of a natural, complete human growth arc. To be honoured and grown in a healthy way, out in the sun. Not smothered and forced into twisted forms.
And I discovered what I was not able to uncover the first time. I learned the way in which I personally express play, creation, and consequently – love.
Let’s go, on a getaway!
I Love in Getaways
g e t a w a y s.
In faraway places
On journeys that trace the outline of a
from the references cast
By others past and passing by.
re b i r t h.
In reimagining, a hearth
Lit and re-lit by each new Phoenix of
lies not in averting death – but in the wealth
b e c o mes
a dance! un-replicable
Crafted anew and
and belonging to
At the forge of far horizons, emblazoned
In the precinct of dreams belonging
to anywhere –
anywhere – away, with you.
The wishing pond of Davis Falls, Pokhara.
The coin twirled in the water, sinking, sinking. And then it unaccountably shot to the side. Sinking all the way down to the floor of the pool instead of onto the little sunken plinth. Joining the many other coins from those who had come before.
Oh well, just a little fun.
The English family who was also there at the shrine by Davis Falls tried next. Coin after coin was flipped in, without success. There must be a slight flow of water near the surface of the plinth, I surmised. It must be enough to nudge the coin away just as it is about to land on the plinth.
Supposedly if the coin lands, your wish will come true.
The English family gave up and went away. I contemplated the plinth, and thought about the whirlwind half-year of 2017 that had just passed. New things and people in my life.
Confusing new things to suddenly wish for.
The shrine was not a shrine of my faith. In fact, I wonder if there is a shrine that I would recognise, given my faith. But I speak to the Owner of all shrines natural and built, and there I quietly asked, if it pleased Him, to grant what was in my heart. Was it right and good for me, to wish it?
Just for kicks, I flipped a second coin.
It plopped through the surface, twirling, twirling. Veering away like before.
And then it veered back. Flipping.
It landed on the wishing plinth.
All right then. Let’s go.
Come with me…
The world is dangerous…
And it is. So is driving a car, and jumping into the ocean. Except if you learned how to drive, and how to dive.
Shelter the children from danger and disease. But why?
Because they have not finished learning how to manage risk, and keep themselves safe.
And how is it that human children learn these skills of adulthood, to keep themselves and others safe one day in a world of dangers? How are they made ready, before the struggles begin?
Why, they play.
So let them play, and let us play. And laugh. And be joyful.
Let’s go. Anywhere, away, with you.
Beautifully written, courageous, and empowering narrative and poetry. I’m wishing you the best in your journey and looking forward to reading what comes next!
Thank you :) Hope you come back to see where I landed with the ballast tossed out – first stop was at the edge of heaven, the Himalayas in Nepal !
What an interesting post! Reads like poetry. Very creative!
That was really nice to read! :) Love the thinking loud and lovely poems. <3
Thank you! I love poetry :)